How would things be if one thing changed?

It would be his birthday today. 1956-2004

I can finally really talk about this. I has taken me so long because I just didn't want to think about it and to deal with it. My wonderful mother helped me to deal with it cause we had two big blows in one year. My dear daddy and my step dad. She took me to classes whiched helped but made more feelings rise to the top and I just couldn't and didn't want to deal with it. The feelings come back up around holidays cause my dad was big on them and going to see family. I have to admit I had a horrible time with it when I got married. You know your dad is supposed to walk you down the isle but mine wasn't there. My little brother stepped up and was a wonderful support for doing that for me. Having my little girl seeing her grow up and knowing my dad isn't here to see it breaks my heart, but everyone says he is watching over me. Some how it just isn't the same though.I found a song that kinda says how I feel. Sometimes I wish how things would be if he didn't go. Would I still be where I am, who knows. All I know I miss him so much and I sometimes I feel I can bearly make it.

Here is the song

For those of you who didn't know my dad let me tell ya. He was like a big kid in so many ways. He loved to play games both video and board games. He loved Disneyland like anyone else. He was always there when I needed him through happy times and hard times. Even if he was busy with something he would make time to listen/talk or anything. I called him many times, even in the middle of the night (he lived in California) because of something that happened and needed help. He always said I always was welcome out there and I could come any time. He was always kind to everyone and was always thinking of others. He was truly the best dad I have ever had and will ever had.

I love you Dad and miss you with all my heart!!